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Verdict: Not Guilty

Updated: Aug 7, 2023

I heard the LORD say, “Don’t draw any conclusions!” What? Isn’t drawing conclusions one of those natural things everyone does? You gather all the information you can, figure out what is going on then go ahead and make the next “right choice.” I heard this statement from God in a time when I was crying out for answers. “What am I doing right? What am I doing wrong?”  Processing how I show up in life situations, making choices in ministry and life that affect others. A time of loss and looking at people I love suffering, knowing I know the God that can change their painful situations; wondering if He wants to use me to be a source of those needed transformations; but not seeing fruit to that end… a hard, pressing, tight place. I don’t know how everyone else deals with those kinds of responsibilities, but for me it has always been a serious venture, an honor to be thought to have what it takes to be responsible for something/someone. Knowing it’s not in my own strength but through a relationship with a kind and gracious God. Knowing closeness is the key and wandering is a common occurrence. Whether it is raising a child to be the best they can be or planning an event that comes straight from the heart of God, I want to do my best! I want to do what is RIGHT and has the most positive impact for all involved. Meeting the expectations of the one giving me the responsibility and staying true to what is “right” in my core are all present to measure my “success” or announce “my short falls” or “failures” mostly to myself.


I have been walking with the LORD for 26 years now and have experienced great grace to “plan.” Being responsible for various kinds of events both large and small. This season has added the responsibility of caring and leading young women forward on their path to the one who can tell them the truth of who they are, reveal what they were created for, and heal the wounds from living in this broken world. I am a natural dreamer and problem solver. I love seeing the whole picture, breaking it down, planning the next steps to reach the goal, and dealing with bumps that come up on the road to the intended end. I give all the details a good look over and make the “best” available choices. 


In the midst of that, I hear God say to me “Don’t draw any conclusions.” I understood it did not mean make no choices, but more so do not look at the hard things, the disappointments, the unanswered, unchanged things and decided it is because... I did not hear Him or I must have done something wrong. It spoke to me not to assume that I even understand His ultimate goal, or the true intentions of the people involved. He was saying remain in mystery and simply trust. I remember His words settling on me with a surprising acceptance. As if I understood how to use them and could have, at that moment, used them like a key, to unlock all the doors and find the answers that seemed inaccessible to me. The statement seemed to be an answer to all the weight of doing what’s “RIGHT” and changing what was being done “WRONG.” 


I did not understand, and I asked the Lord to “tell” me what was right and wrong. He simply whispered “No, I will "show" you. If I tell you, you will change behaviors but will not have the character to sustain the change.” Ouch, it screamed process and that takes longer than I ever want it to! It takes trusting that Papa is good and therefore I am in a good place and safe with Him in the mystery! I heard the gentle whisper of my loving Father say He had all the information, and I did not. He wanted peace to lead me, not to be led by my own understanding. Taking time to process does not put Him off or frustrate Him like it can us! I love the Lord; we can trust that He will always do what is best for our ultimate success, He never sets us up to fail in a trial or life itself. He is interested in removing what keeps us from intimacy with Him and knows we need to go slow to get there!


Selah


Being given the privilege to dream with our Heavenly Father God and see Glory House slowly come into its fullest, to be given the honor of opening doors for others that He has opened for me first (Isaiah 61:1) and seeing them experience the great freedom of God’s perfect love is humbling. In this place of the unknown and seemingly unanswered, this place of mystery I would encourage us to press into who God is. GOD IS GOOD LOVE. This truth has become my deepest core value, my guidance system, so to speak, what at times keeps me from falling off the proverbial cliff we all face.


The first lifeline I hold fast to is that God is well able to speak to me, to get through to me even in the worst of places I find myself in. I must remind myself that I do not need to fear that I am missing Him in times of silence, if He wanted to speak, He would, in just the way I needed to hear Him! There are no “If’s”… not “If” I‘m submitted, not “If” I am doing all the right things, not if I am positioned to hear, He is able to speak to His beloved and I am able to hear my good shepherd!


Not my ability to hear but His great power to speak!

 

My second lifeline is that He will lead me in paths of righteousness even if I cannot see that the choices, I make daily, lead to His expected end. God is able to make me end up in the good place He has planned for me to be. I may have to veer or even take the detour, but Papa is patient and kind, it is only me in a hurry!


Even if I think I know where things should end up and how best to get there, I most likely do not. God does know where I should be going and how to get me there.


He is good and can be trusted with directions.

 

The final lifeline I hold fast to is God is willing to keep me and present me to Himself - not guilty of every accusation of the enemy. He has acquitted of every charge of the Devil that says Roseann is not measuring up, honorable, trustworthy, gentle, faithful, loving or any other attribute of God Himself. Because I am made in the image of God every attribute He is, is my true identity. When the enemy comes to point out where my actions did not line up with the truth of who God says I am, saying my IDENTITY is based on my actions (sin), God finds me not guilty of the accusation and says shame, fear, and guilt are not my sentence. But freedom and grace come from the “Judge” to learn how to allow Him to align me with the Truth of who I am and change my mind about things to help me agree with what He has said I am. I am not the things I hear from the enemy, wrong thoughts from myself or any circumstances! Papa says my trueself, my identy can only come from Him! I am like my Daddy!


Everything that comes to me, in my emotions, thoughts or circumstances will not be accepted as Truth unless Papa God said it about me first! I will not entertain a thought in my mind or heart that God is not the author of! (Pastor Bill Johnson)

 

Friends, I hope these words are a balm to your heart, a key for your mind, and a sword for your mouth. We do not have to stand for mental, emotional, or physical attacks from our accuser! We have a judge who has acquitted us, erasing every accusation of the accuser from the record (both present and future)  Our loving Judge has written in His book all the good things He has planned for us. Receive the good kind of love from the Father and wait in the unknown with an expectant heart to see good!

 

Walking with my eyes up and my heart open,

 

Roseann Deeb

Co-founder Glory House




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